My Dad always says “You can’t please all the people, all the time. You can only please some of the people, some of the time”. I recall the first time he said this was when I was trying to be all things to all people, as I tried to balance my mates with girlfriends; A predicament many of us young men face when ‘stepping-out’. “Come on lad, come out with us, don’t be staying in with her again – you never come out anymore”. Anyways, this isn’t the basis of this rant but my Dad’ ol’ words of wisdom, (which there are many), is something my Local Council should be seriously considering.
This story begins about maybe 6-7 weeks ago, when a harmless looking handout appears in our post-box from ‘The City’. A double-sided piece of cardboard with some ‘fluffy’ looking content on; The sort you maybe glance at and throw away immediately. Mrs. Wife was about to do just this when she mentioned it was regarding ‘Rezoning’. I thought I’d best have a look. ‘Zoning’ where The City is concerned refers to Zoning types throughout the city, whereby for the purpose of maintaining the aesthetics, function and ‘vibe’ of a place, By-Laws are put in place to ensure you can’t just build an Oil Refining Plant adjacent a Care Home. It’s a rule book to control the Built Environment. Residential neighbourhoods have their own Zoning categories to. Certain Neighbourhoods only permit single-family, others permit Row Houses (houses in a row, typically of 4 or 5), Townhouses, etc. There are also sub By-Laws, which permit ‘Suites’ above detached Garages and so forth – you get the picture. However, this harmless looking piece of card was actually very seismic for Zoning – It proposed to pretty much scrap it. It stopped short of being able to build a 22-Storey Tower Block at the end of my Street but anything else goes. Essentially, with such ‘Rezoning’ in-place, you could sub-divide my plot to enable 4 Families to live on it. I could potentially go from 1 Family each side to 4; 8 in total on both sides. Talk about confined spaces.
Now, anyone who knows me, knows I generally don’t like people, especially those I don’t know. I do like my Neighbours each side, but that’s mainly because they’re respectful and don’t impose themselves too much. We talk in passing but there’s an understanding we don’t have to fully engage each time we see each other. A wave or simple ‘Hello’ will suffice. I do have friendships beyond this with some of my Neighbours, but they’re geographically a bit further removed, so I can be in my Garden and not feel obliged to get into conversation. Anyways, long story short, this ‘Rezoning’ proposes to overhaul that into my worst nightmare.
The City are hiding behind a smoke screen that they want to create more affordable housing for those unable to get on the property ladder. They also suggest it will solve the current housing crisis we’re in. They’ve effectively over done it on immigration and now don’t have anywhere to put folks. The logical solution would be to build new housing for low-income families, but the reality is they’ve neither the time nor money. So, what’s the next best idea? Well, it’s not their proposal but they’ve decided to propose making the existing neighbourhoods denser by removing Zoning rules, which would enable Developers to build what they want and avoid delays with Permitting ‘red tape’; ‘Stack it high and sell it cheap’, appears to be the goal. In reality, Developers and Landlords won’t sell it cheap. They’re in the business of maximising profits, not supporting the vulnerable – this is of course why people can’t get on the property ladder in the first place.
There are also the other obvious issues; Insufficient parking, infrastructure, Schools, noise, fire, privacy, reduction in property value for Homeowners (like me), Crime and ultimately - Anarchy. Of course, The City know their proposal is hugely flawed but they can’t/won’t admit it, as it’s really part of a Golden handshake with the Federal Government. ‘Put the People in houses within this timeframe, and you’ll get your money’; It’s Politics after all. It’s not about us People who vote you in, it’s about making deals and calling in favors; ‘You owe me’. The fact The City think the people are stupid enough to buy their ‘affordable housing’ smoke screen is an insult. Oh, will it affect the Neighbourhoods where Council workers live? Absolutely F****** not!
Back to the glossy card (and perhaps more out of a legal obligation) and due to the seismic proposal to completely rip-up current Zoning policy, The City offered the People a chance to voice their concerns, although it’s clear they only told us at the very last minute. Less collaboration, more of an fyi memo. This discussion didn’t start 2-months ago, it’s been going on for a long time. ‘Bring the People in at the last possible minute so they haven’t got chance to prepare a good rebuttal and hopefully it’ll get fast-tracked though’, was clearly the aim. They offered anyone who wanted to speak 5-minutes to address Council at a Public Hearing, one which they thought would only last a day. We’re currently 10 long 12-hour days in and not even halfway through.
Me being me couldn’t resist the chance to have my 5-minutes in front of the Mayor and her Henchman. I registered to speak and received an email notifying me I’d be in ‘Panel #87’. Each Panel consists of 5 People and each Person has 5-minutes to put their best foot forward. Of course, there’s no clue at first when this ‘5-minutes’ would take place. The hearings start at 9.30AM and run until 9.30PM, Monday-Saturday. After the 2nd day it was clear I wouldn’t be up until the Weekend, typically doing 15-20 Panels per day. The main time variable comes when Council is offered the chance to provide you feedback and questions, which can last a minute or an hour…it’s a real unknown. To make things a bit easier on those who do have full time jobs, etc, there is a live screening you can watch on their website and a conference call you can remotely dial-in to have your say. In fairness, they could have made this entire process much quicker by mandating an ‘in-person’ hearing only, meaning only a fraction of the People would have been able to speak. The remote call in has enabled the masses to talk, and talk they have.
Side note, the conference call is easily accessible. You call the number, enter the conference code provided in the email and mute your phone until it’s your turn to speak. You could do this at anytime though. If I wished, I could dial-in now, break wind into the receiver and hang up. I’m surprised nobody has tried this yet just for the banter, although I am glad it’s maintained professionalism, give or take some swearing here and there.
As luck would have it, we had a Wedding over the Weekend, so I was hoping I’d get my 5-minutes in before this – I knew full well though there would be a clash. Having to dive to the nearest closet, half-cut with ‘Come on Eileen’playing in the background when it came my time to speak was hardly ideal. The Wedding was actually taking place on the Friday, and we’d booked an AirBnB for it. Mrs. Wife and I had planed to tag-team the Wedding with our Son so the other could stay back at the AirBnB with Mr. Dog. Mr. Dog doesn’t do well on his own for long, especially in unfamiliar surroundings so the plan was for Mrs. Wife to take the Wedding with Son, and Daddy would take the p***-up portion (Reception) with Son later on. However, as the day wore on, I knew full well Mrs. Wife would be taking on the full Wedding so I could address the Mayor. Nobody was buying my reason for absence though.‘Speaking to the Mayor…yeah, ok’. Mrs. Wife was fortunately good with this, she has my back when I get on one with such matters.
The AirBnb was some sort of retreat though. Hidden away on some Farmland, I felt like I was in exile, on the run and hiding out. Just me and Mr. Dog all day waiting for my 5-minutes. I was pacing around at one point, just wanting to get it done, but no morning call for me. Lunch came and went, as did the afternoon. I was thinking it might even be Saturday when I got to speak but then, just before Council broke for dinner at 6.30PM, Mayor announced they would re-start-again at 7.15PM with Panel #87. The 5 names were read, and I had 45-minutes to refine my speech and practice it again at Mr. Dog for the 20th time that day. Mr. Dog didn’t care much for my speech. He was pre-occupied with being in unfamiliar territory and wondering where the hell Mrs. Mum was. He howls when Mrs. Mum goes out. When we weren’t out walking, he stared out of that damn window all day waiting for her. It’s not quite ‘Turner & Hooch’ but there’s definitely a IMDB 5.1 rated movie in there about a cantankerous exiled man and his dog.
That ¾ of an hour dragged. I was stretching at one point just to relieve myself of the built-up adrenaline, as if this was going to be some sort of ‘Churchillian’ speech. Perhaps ‘Fergie’s’ halftime effort when United were losing to Bayern Munich in the 1999 Champions League final. I then realised I could be speaking to half a million or more people, as the Public tuned into the live feed. I toyed with possibly a quick shot of some Irish to calm the nerves (I don’t travel without the hip flask these days). I wasn’t necessarily nervous about the content or even speaking to that many people, albeit via phone from some remote location. My concern was fitting it all into a 5-minute window, stutter free. Nothing worse than fumbling your words when making a point. They know you’re reading a script, but you don’t want it to sound that way. Like an Actor messing up their lines when it’s meant to come across as ‘off the cuff’.
Eventually 7.15PM came around, the live feed was back up and the Mayor did the roll call for Council; Now was ‘Panel #87’ time. There were 2 people before me but eventually my name was called up…and so it was…
“I’m representing myself but my neighbours are of the same opinion.
I’ve realised listening over the past few days that this entire issue is about PEOPLE and how they want to live.
Different zones work for different people – that’s why zoning works.
This entire hearing has demonstrated that individuals impacted by this are different in their own way – one size doesn’t fit all.
I chose a single-family detached for a reason. I like my neighbours but I’m certainly not a ‘live in each others pocket’ guy – I like my space.
Alternatively other people love condos, the ‘hustle n bustle’ of City living, others prefer the quieter suburbs.
Much the same way some of you Councillors prefer to be here in person and others remote – it works – it’s choice.
You can’t throw a hybrid of people together and expect it to work – nor does it have to.
Of-course you cannot provide each individual with a tailored home set-up but you can generally satisfy the masses.
It’s not to say all the people in favor of blanket rezoning wouldn’t be amazing neighbours – those individuals who have come down or called in this week to speak are great people.
My concerns are the ones who haven’t showed up - the people who don’t care – the nightmare neighbours - The lazy, obnoxious, disgusting, noisy neighbours. You can perhaps manage 1 home occupier each side but potentially 12 (4 each side and 4 at the back?)
Remember - Change is not always a good thing.
Also - Property Value:
This blanket statement about no evidence to support property value reductions is ridiculous.
Value will be driven down, as I certainly wouldn’t pay the value we paid for our house if there are 8 families living right next door and another 4 at the back.
This will leave homeowners in negative equity.
I WOULD EXPECT - if this rezoning is approved, Homeowners will be compensated for having invested in one thing and in reality sold another?
Is this rezoning process even legal?
You cannot destroy our homes and neighbourhood for free.
There is also a clear weighted split between being in opposed and in favor, which someone mentioned is 80 / 20? However, the 80% live here, the 20% do not - so why are they having a say on other peoples homes/neighbourhoods.
The people who will be impacted should be the ones to make this decision.
Also, Is this a democracy or dictatorship? Since the people are largely against this, if the City vote in favor – this will answer the question - the 20% should be aware of that also.
There’s also a high risk of merging 2 very diverse demographics – This will create a risk of anarchy – we all know how the Public can react when there’s injustice.
The people in favor are only on board because this is the only vehicle available to them BUT I think they would agree (and some have) this is a bad proposal and other alternative options should be available. One Lady mentioned utilizing vacant Office blocks.
Let’s be honest, we all know where this proposal has stemmed from and if there is a carrot being dangled then take the money from the Federal Government and put that toward building low-cost housing in other more appropriate areas – don’t pollute the existing neighbourhoods.
As for the Developers ‘Boys Club’ in on Monday with their ‘why always me’ attitude - they only see dollar signs - not People and are simply taking full advantage of the situation.
The Lawyers in favor clearly understand there’s a risk of lawsuits so equally securing future work.
If people can’t afford a condo now, how will they afford new developments within this proposal? – this proposal only kicks the problem down the road and doesn’t resolve the issues. Additionally, as our homes will be reduced in value - we will then be at risk of losing our homes, which will only add to the problem.
Rezoning is not the answer - laws to cap Interest rates, inflation and Landlords on a Federal level is what’s required – Homeowners are not the reason others can’t afford housing – Banks, Governments and Landlords are!
I also look at the originators of this proposal – the Council members. The alleged strongest leaders in our City who rather than work toward a feasible solution have just thrown together an idea surely made up at the water cooler.
From Thursday’ hearing, I know one Council member will be starting a “Lets Build Optimism” campaign, which is just political fluff and ignores realism.
Come up with a proper solution that doesn’t transfer the problem onto me and my neighbourhood – it’s not my job to solve the City and Country’s problems.
If the Council is so adamant it will work, then trial the idea on your own houses and let me know how that works out.
This is a dangerous door to open - and I wonder (given how ridiculous this proposal is) - what comes next. Will there be a day when you can just build a Tower block anywhere? You’ll scoff now - but just you wait.
Do not open this door – keep it firmly shut and look for a better solution.”
…aahhhh…that felt good…I immediately cracked open a beer, which was followed by another. I drank 2 cans in 20-minutes. I was pumped.
One of the downfalls of speaking at this hearing is that once you’re done, the Mayor takes the ante away with her simple monotone ‘Thank you for your presentation, we’ll now move onto [insert name]’. It’s like you could have done your best Al Pacino’ ‘Any Given Sunday’, Ben Afflecks ‘Boiler Room’ or Bruce Willis ‘Armageddon’ speeches and you’d be met with this same line, as if you’re in the queue at the Deli; ‘Here’s your honey roast ham, number 54?’. It reminds me of Woody’s character in Toy Story where you pull the cord in his back, and he just keeps saying “You’re my favourite Deputy”. It’s like it doesn’t land, and in most cases it probably doesn’t.
I also wished I’d been in the first Panel where the first 3 People were met with cheers from the other in-person attendees. This didn’t last long as Mayor did remind people of their behaviour whilst in Chambers and the use of profanities. Just today though in Panel 131 a guy used the line “You’re going to turn this City into a s**thole!” Brilliant. What a legend!
My ‘Churchill speech’, clearly isn’t the best and based on what’s gone before and after, it’s simply an echo chamber. For me though, it’s about knowing I did all I could to bolster the People’s voice. It was about being part of a consortium that rallied together in solidarity and went to bat for OUR City. I know there are people in support but with all due respect, they’re too ‘green’ and can’t see the situation for what it truly is. If Council can get this over the line, then it’s open season. What else can they push through? I’ve used ‘Roe vs Wade’ and abusive relationships as metaphoric examples over the past few days. These are completely different issues, but they all represent ‘creep’. We open this door, and others can (and will) open. Creep. You don’t get abused on your first date with the abusive partner. No, this occurs subtly, over time. Creep. You wonder how you get from that lovely first date where you got treated so well to the point, you’re now a victim of physical, verbal and sexual abuse. ‘CREEP’. ‘Roe v Wade’ was a seismic U-turn but it doesn’t end there. No, same-sex marriages, minimum wage, freedom of speech…they’re all in the queue.
I saw one Lady talk the other day and she finished her speech with a simple but wholesome line, “If you truly represent the People you’d vote against this.” Such a true statement, which captures the very essence of what Councillors are traditionally about. A Person appointed by the People who represent the People and their interests. If the 80% majority are against, and Council vote in favor, how is that representing the People? Well of course that’s Politics. It’s not about People. It’s about money and favors. The 20% are clearly too naïve to understand what’s really going on here. That’s not a put down, that’s just fact. I used to have opinions in my youth, which I now realise were so shortsighted.
Many people have also spoken about how if the Councillors do vote in favor, then none of them will be sat on the Council next year, as they will be voted out. This will likely be the case for the Mayor anyways, whose just going through the motions of her ‘stay of execution’. Of course, such circumstances is where the phrase ‘failing upwards’ comes from. These so-called ‘elite’ will force through bad policy only to be rewarded for it with a promotion elsewhere. Isn’t this what the top Bankers did when they caused the 2008 financial collapse?
The Council’ current job during this hearing is nothing more than a finite task with this Public s**t throwing being nothing more than an empty gesture to make the City look like they give 2 s***s about the People’ opinion.
In conclusion though, as much as I’m angry about the corruption of politics, the s**t show which will prevail, all the injustices and everything that is wrong with this proposal, the one thing, which really makes me anxious is the impact this could have on my Son. As a Parent, the love for your child transcends anything and you can’t even explain that love. Yes, it’s unconditional, yes, you’d do anything to protect them – ANYTHING. You would do completely irrational and out of character things to protect them. I don’t want to live in a space where my Son is exposed to God only knows living next door. As I say in my speech, there are bad People in this World and where there’s confined unnatural spaces, trouble will follow. This is why Prisons often fail because they confine Humans to small and stressful environments. This leads to anxiety and anger alongside other mental issues, which leads to anarchy. This is not trying to deny a desperate Mother of 3 a house, I want a House for that Mother and her kids. That Mother deserves to have a safe place in an appropriate Housing environment, not some small Basement Suite where her kids don’t have space to play outside because that Garden space is now occupied by Row Houses with live-in drug dealers.
All this is about PEOPLE. Luckily the People have spoken and where my Son’ wellbeing is concerned there will be no silence from me Come Hell or High F*****G Water!
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